ADVERTISEMENT
Faithfully Magazine
  • News
    • All
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • World
    David Wenwei Chou

    FBI Probes Attack on Taiwanese American Churchgoers in California as Hate Crime

    Ruth Whitfield

    God-Loving Matriarch and Devoted Church Deacon Among Buffalo Shooting Victims

    Crystal Mason provisional ballot

    Texas Court Must Reconsider Illegal Voting Conviction of Black Woman Sentenced to 5 Years

    Kelly Neidert UNT

    ‘The Most Hated Conservative College Student in the State’: How a Texas Student Embroiled Her Campus in a Culture War

  • Clippings
    Dr. John Cheng, 52, was fatally shot by David Chou

    Dr. John Cheng Hailed as Hero for Stopping Laguna Woods Church Gunman

    The May 13, 2022, funeral procession of Palestinian-American journalist Shireen Abu Aqleh in Jerusalem

    Israeli Police Attack Christian Journalist’s Funeral Procession, Beat Mourners

    cellphone

    Nigerian Student Beaten to Death, Set on Fire for Critical WhatsApp Post of Prophet Muhammad

    Indian Boarding School Students

    Christians Likely Helped Run Half of U.S. Indian Boarding Schools

  • Features
    children in a classroom getting education

    On Race and Schools, Here’s What Americans Agree and Disagree On

    Kelly Neidert UNT

    ‘The Most Hated Conservative College Student in the State’: How a Texas Student Embroiled Her Campus in a Culture War

    Stop Asian Hate sign

    ‘We Are Being Hunted’ — Asian Americans Say They Are More Scared Now Than Ever

    Ida B. Wells Doll Barbie

    Ida B. Wells Barbie Doll Faces an Uphill Battle Against Anti-Blackness

  • Inspiration
    • All
    • Bible
    • First-Person Essay
    • Poetry
    Everything Everywhere All At Once. (A24 Films)

    ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ & the Absurdity of Love as Resistance

    God Speaks Through Wombs: Poems on God's Unexpected Coming

    The Gospels Give Birth to Poetry (‘God Speaks Through Wombs’ Excerpt)

    two women talk

    100 Proverbs That Teach Us How to Speak, Listen, and Respectfully Disagree

    Rapper J Cole and a hanging tree

    J. Cole’s ‘Javari,’ the Cross, and the Lynching Tree

  • Members
  • About Us
    • Staff and Advisors
    • Write for Us
    • Advertise With Us
SUBSCRIBE
No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • All
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • World
    David Wenwei Chou

    FBI Probes Attack on Taiwanese American Churchgoers in California as Hate Crime

    Ruth Whitfield

    God-Loving Matriarch and Devoted Church Deacon Among Buffalo Shooting Victims

    Crystal Mason provisional ballot

    Texas Court Must Reconsider Illegal Voting Conviction of Black Woman Sentenced to 5 Years

    Kelly Neidert UNT

    ‘The Most Hated Conservative College Student in the State’: How a Texas Student Embroiled Her Campus in a Culture War

  • Clippings
    Dr. John Cheng, 52, was fatally shot by David Chou

    Dr. John Cheng Hailed as Hero for Stopping Laguna Woods Church Gunman

    The May 13, 2022, funeral procession of Palestinian-American journalist Shireen Abu Aqleh in Jerusalem

    Israeli Police Attack Christian Journalist’s Funeral Procession, Beat Mourners

    cellphone

    Nigerian Student Beaten to Death, Set on Fire for Critical WhatsApp Post of Prophet Muhammad

    Indian Boarding School Students

    Christians Likely Helped Run Half of U.S. Indian Boarding Schools

  • Features
    children in a classroom getting education

    On Race and Schools, Here’s What Americans Agree and Disagree On

    Kelly Neidert UNT

    ‘The Most Hated Conservative College Student in the State’: How a Texas Student Embroiled Her Campus in a Culture War

    Stop Asian Hate sign

    ‘We Are Being Hunted’ — Asian Americans Say They Are More Scared Now Than Ever

    Ida B. Wells Doll Barbie

    Ida B. Wells Barbie Doll Faces an Uphill Battle Against Anti-Blackness

  • Inspiration
    • All
    • Bible
    • First-Person Essay
    • Poetry
    Everything Everywhere All At Once. (A24 Films)

    ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ & the Absurdity of Love as Resistance

    God Speaks Through Wombs: Poems on God's Unexpected Coming

    The Gospels Give Birth to Poetry (‘God Speaks Through Wombs’ Excerpt)

    two women talk

    100 Proverbs That Teach Us How to Speak, Listen, and Respectfully Disagree

    Rapper J Cole and a hanging tree

    J. Cole’s ‘Javari,’ the Cross, and the Lynching Tree

  • Members
  • About Us
    • Staff and Advisors
    • Write for Us
    • Advertise With Us
No Result
View All Result
Faithfully Magazine
No Result
View All Result

Caring Well: A Survivor’s Reflections on the ERLC Conference on Abuse

Sheiliann Peña by Sheiliann Peña
October 10, 2019
in Opinion
Reading Time: 6 mins read
0
Essay about Caring Well conference
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on RedditShare on LinkedInEmail This
16
SHARES
ShareTweetPin It

Editor’s note: The following article discusses the 2019 ERLC National Conference on abuse in a way that may trigger those who have suffered abuse, especially sexual abuse within the church.


I had the privilege of attending the ERLC National Conference entitled Equipping Churches to Confront the Abuse Crisis from October 3-5. I say privilege not in reference to the candor of the organization (Southern Baptist Convention) or the content of the conference, but rather, privilege because my church paid for 100 of its members, predominantly laypeople, to attend the conference. Our church is often considered to be a liberal one, though liberal usually doesn’t say much in the way of progress if it’s referring to a Southern Baptist church. But even our preexisting skepticism, our Gen X scrutiny, and millennial disillusionment didn’t curb the grave disappointment the ERLC conference would bring.

Mosaic Coffee

The term hypocrisy feels outdated and insufficient to describe this conference. What took place during that weekend can only be categorized as either mind-blowingly ignorant or deeply disingenuous. The shorthand title of the conference, “Caring Well,” was a grievous, troubling misnomer. I must tell you about that “caring well.” This national conference was one eight-hour day, followed by a 13-hour day, followed by another four-hour day with an onslaught of information. This was nonstop content showcasing explicit retellings of survivor abuse stories, child rape, adult abuse, rejection, abandonment, and deceit. There were back-to-back sessions of the most triggering and retraumatizing material a survivor of abuse, like myself, could encounter. Of course, conference organizers would never use the word “trigger.” The extent of the trigger warnings provided was a disclaimer before two videos of testimonies from an abused child and an imprisoned abuser were shown. The last sentence of the warning simply said, “This video might not be for you.”

RELATED STORIES

Unlearning Racism As a Non-Black Person of Color

Will the Black Church Continue to Sing R. Kelly’s ‘I Believe I Can Fly’?

Surviving Without Care

It was interesting to hear many speakers quote the statistic of how many people experience sexual abuse (1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men, according to the CDC). By their own account, at least a quarter of those in attendance were survivors of abuse (the Baptist Press reported that “more than 1,650 registered for the event”). Some of us, still only feeling like victims and not survivors, sat tightly in our seats, gripping the sides, and convincing ourselves that we should be strong enough to take it, to do it, to listen to it, to watch it, that we should be over it. That we had to for the sake of our future safety, the future protection of our children and our churches. Some attendees I spoke with said the experience was like drinking from a fire hydrant, but for me, it felt more like waterboarding.

There were no counselors provided on site. There were no mechanisms in place at the conference for attendees to actually report abuse. There were no set times for us to ask questions or voice concerns, nor moments for us to sit before the Lord together in silence and weep. There was no time for the Holy Spirit to fall on us with His great comfort, and scarcely any time for prayer. There was a prayer room set up at the conference, but it was not the ERLC who planned and prepared it. A conference attendee on staff at an SBC church independently contacted the ERLC and asked to set up a prayer room after learning of the conference’s subject matter. In that prayer room, person after person streamed in. Many were tearful, some weeping, others having panic attacks, pacing back and forth. Others still were quiet and disassociated, entering the room tight-lipped and hazy-eyed as if to keep composure ⁠— but really just trying to survive and be OK in the face of their most painful memories.

The prayer room was staffed by volunteer laypeople who, though yearning to show the great compassion of Jesus Christ, were less than equipped for these encounters. I was one of those volunteers. I longed to provide the right words and prayers, right touch or non-touch to the women who sat before me and said, “I have never told anyone before, but here are my stories of abuse.” We tried to ask them about counseling: Did they have access to it? Might they consider it? We handed out a list of abuse hotline numbers and instructions on how to search for a counselor. The women we prayed with would then leave the confessional. They seemed relieved, believing that what they whispered to a stranger, huddled in a corner they were pushed into by the suffocating stream of information, would keep them from unraveling.

Worse yet is the reality that when some of the women walked back to their conference seats, they were walking back to their abusers. We walked past the faces of those who may have covered up abuses, those who, if not sexually, then spiritually and emotionally abused us. Those men sat listening to the stories of abuse, looking stonily ahead as if to say, “God, I thank you that I am not like these other men” (Luke 18:9-14). There was not a singular moment acknowledging the wolves that were surely present in the midst of that very conference. Protection was not offered, only theorized; shelter only provided in the ethereal, and care? Caring, well…

Finding the Light

In 2 Corinthians 4:8 it says that we are pressed on all sides, but not crushed. Attending this year’s ERLC National Conference felt pretty close in some ways. And yet, as one who trusts in the mighty and unending love of God, it cannot be so for me, nor for the church. Not even for Southern Baptists. I’ve had to focus on the contradictions of this conference because it is time for accountability. Education on abuse did occur, but caring well did not.

However, I will not fail to point out that there were incredibly bright moments at the conference as well. I mean a kind of bright that is so piercing and revelatory it hurts your eyes. Among them were Beth Moore, Megan Lively, Jackie Hill Perry, Diane Langberg, Rachael Denhollander, Brad Hambrick, and other valiant women and men who shared their stories, called out the sins of the convention and the church, and authoritatively called us all to action. They were the bright lights of the conference and are lights of the church. Watch the sessions led by these heroes, and step into their light. We must not enter complacently, hoping their beams will somehow last and be all that we need. It is not fair to these leaders, and it will not be enough for us. Instead we must, like solar panels, absorb the rays of Christ shining through his people. In this way, we can be charged, re-energized, and empowered to spark and carry currents of change in our communities and churches. Meanwhile, we must rise up in prayer, asking God our Father to push the darkness away through the power of the Holy Spirit and the victory of the Son because He, in fact, does care for us and does so unendingly well (1 Peter 5:7).

Watch the ERLC session interviewing Rachael Denhollander. What are the answers to Denhollander’s questions regarding accountability when applied to the SBC? Your own church?


If you are currently experiencing abuse, go to https://www.rainn.org/ or call 800.656.4673 to get help 24/7.

Leave your vote

0 Points
Upvote Downvote

Browse and manage your votes from your Member Profile Page

What's Your Reaction?

  • AngryAngry
    0
    Angry
  • CuteCute
    0
    Cute
  • CryCry
    2
    Cry
  • LOLLOL
    0
    LOL
  • LoveLove
    0
    Love
  • OMGOMG
    0
    OMG

REPRINT REQUESTS | MEMBERSHIPS | GIVE



Share This Post

Share via

Share This Post

  • Digg
  • Tumblr
  • Flipboard
  • SMS
More
  • Report
16
SHARES
ShareTweetPin It

Related Posts

Everything Everywhere All At Once. (A24 Films)

‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ & the Absurdity of Love as Resistance

racism

Unlearning Racism As a Non-Black Person of Color

Upcoming Live Events

There are no upcoming Events at this time.

Recently Published

  • Overtly White Supremacist Ideology Is Being Sanitized and Mainstreamed
  • Dr. John Cheng Hailed as Hero for Stopping Laguna Woods Church Gunman
  • FBI Probes Attack on Taiwanese American Churchgoers in California as Hate Crime
  • God-Loving Matriarch and Devoted Church Deacon Among Buffalo Shooting Victims
  • Israeli Police Attack Christian Journalist’s Funeral Procession, Beat Mourners
Mosaic Coffee
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact Us
  • Shop
  • Newsletter

© 2022 Faithfully Media LLC, owner and operator. All rights reserved. This site participates in the Amazon Associates program, and other affiliate programs, and may earn a commission from your purchases.

No Result
View All Result
  • News
  • Clippings
  • Features
  • Spotlight
  • Inspiration
  • Log In
    • Your Profile
Share via

Share This Post

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Reddit
  • Email
  • WhatsApp
  • Copy Link
  • Tumblr
  • Digg
  • Flipboard
  • SMS
close

Log In

Sign In

Login with Facebook
Login with Twitter
Forgot password?

Don't have an account? Register

Forgot password?

Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.

Back to Login

Your password reset link appears to be invalid or expired.

Log in

Privacy Policy

Accept

Add to Collection

  • Public collection title

  • Private collection title

No Collections

Here you'll find all collections you've created before.

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.
Send this to a friend