Faithfully Magazine
  • News
    • All
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • World
    Crystal Mason provisional ballot

    Texas Court Must Reconsider Illegal Voting Conviction of Black Woman Sentenced to 5 Years

    Kelly Neidert UNT

    ‘The Most Hated Conservative College Student in the State’: How a Texas Student Embroiled Her Campus in a Culture War

    Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson

    Ketanji Brown Jackson Will Be the First Black Woman Supreme Court Justice

    Texas death row inmate John Henry Ramirez

    ‘Pastor Touch’ Case Ruled in Favor of Death Row Inmate John Henry Ramirez

  • Clippings
    The May 13, 2022, funeral procession of Palestinian-American journalist Shireen Abu Aqleh in Jerusalem

    Israeli Police Attack Christian Journalist’s Funeral Procession, Beat Mourners

    cellphone

    Nigerian Student Beaten to Death, Set on Fire for Critical WhatsApp Post of Prophet Muhammad

    Indian Boarding School Students

    Christians Likely Helped Run Half of U.S. Indian Boarding Schools

    Liberty University.

    Liberty University Settles Suit With 12 Women Over Alleged Mishandled Assault Cases

  • Features
    children in a classroom getting education

    On Race and Schools, Here’s What Americans Agree and Disagree On

    Kelly Neidert UNT

    ‘The Most Hated Conservative College Student in the State’: How a Texas Student Embroiled Her Campus in a Culture War

    Stop Asian Hate sign

    ‘We Are Being Hunted’ — Asian Americans Say They Are More Scared Now Than Ever

    Ida B. Wells Doll Barbie

    Ida B. Wells Barbie Doll Faces an Uphill Battle Against Anti-Blackness

  • Inspiration
    • All
    • Bible
    • First-Person Essay
    • Poetry
    Everything Everywhere All At Once. (A24 Films)

    ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ & the Absurdity of Love as Resistance

    God Speaks Through Wombs: Poems on God's Unexpected Coming

    The Gospels Give Birth to Poetry (‘God Speaks Through Wombs’ Excerpt)

    two women talk

    100 Proverbs That Teach Us How to Speak, Listen, and Respectfully Disagree

    Rapper J Cole and a hanging tree

    J. Cole’s ‘Javari,’ the Cross, and the Lynching Tree

  • Members
  • About Us
    • Staff and Advisors
    • Write for Us
    • Advertise With Us
SUBSCRIBE
No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • All
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • World
    Crystal Mason provisional ballot

    Texas Court Must Reconsider Illegal Voting Conviction of Black Woman Sentenced to 5 Years

    Kelly Neidert UNT

    ‘The Most Hated Conservative College Student in the State’: How a Texas Student Embroiled Her Campus in a Culture War

    Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson

    Ketanji Brown Jackson Will Be the First Black Woman Supreme Court Justice

    Texas death row inmate John Henry Ramirez

    ‘Pastor Touch’ Case Ruled in Favor of Death Row Inmate John Henry Ramirez

  • Clippings
    The May 13, 2022, funeral procession of Palestinian-American journalist Shireen Abu Aqleh in Jerusalem

    Israeli Police Attack Christian Journalist’s Funeral Procession, Beat Mourners

    cellphone

    Nigerian Student Beaten to Death, Set on Fire for Critical WhatsApp Post of Prophet Muhammad

    Indian Boarding School Students

    Christians Likely Helped Run Half of U.S. Indian Boarding Schools

    Liberty University.

    Liberty University Settles Suit With 12 Women Over Alleged Mishandled Assault Cases

  • Features
    children in a classroom getting education

    On Race and Schools, Here’s What Americans Agree and Disagree On

    Kelly Neidert UNT

    ‘The Most Hated Conservative College Student in the State’: How a Texas Student Embroiled Her Campus in a Culture War

    Stop Asian Hate sign

    ‘We Are Being Hunted’ — Asian Americans Say They Are More Scared Now Than Ever

    Ida B. Wells Doll Barbie

    Ida B. Wells Barbie Doll Faces an Uphill Battle Against Anti-Blackness

  • Inspiration
    • All
    • Bible
    • First-Person Essay
    • Poetry
    Everything Everywhere All At Once. (A24 Films)

    ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ & the Absurdity of Love as Resistance

    God Speaks Through Wombs: Poems on God's Unexpected Coming

    The Gospels Give Birth to Poetry (‘God Speaks Through Wombs’ Excerpt)

    two women talk

    100 Proverbs That Teach Us How to Speak, Listen, and Respectfully Disagree

    Rapper J Cole and a hanging tree

    J. Cole’s ‘Javari,’ the Cross, and the Lynching Tree

  • Members
  • About Us
    • Staff and Advisors
    • Write for Us
    • Advertise With Us
No Result
View All Result
Faithfully Magazine
No Result
View All Result

I Stopped Sleeping With My Husband

Heather Day by Heather Day
July 20, 2018
in Inspiration
Reading Time: 3 mins read
0
woman in bed

(Photo: Alexandra Gorn/Unsplash)

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on RedditShare on LinkedInEmail This
42
SHARES
ShareTweetPin It

This has been a tough year for me. We are three kids deep, I finished my PhD program, and I have felt like I am running myself ragged at work. Not to mention that everyone in my family has contracted the bubonic plague this year. I’m popping Advil Cold & Sinus like it’s a street drug and considered showing up at my family doctor with a firearm demanding a magic potion to give me my energy back. Life has been hectic, and every relationship right now feels strained. My husband and I started doing something a few years ago that has deeply impacted our marriage for the better.

We stopped sleeping together.

Mosaic Coffee

I’m a Dr. now so you should probably pay attention. Equilibrium theory says that intimacy and distance vary together. I know that this is true every time my husband continues watching an episode of “Alaskan Bush People” even after I have told him to stop. If I see one more clan member refer to “Brown Town,” I will set the television on fire. I burn holes through the side of his face with my eyes trying to will the remote into my hand like that child sorceress Matilda, all while sitting as far from him on the couch as possible. I am one of the only adults on this planet who has never smoked weed, and all those brain cells I preserved in high school start dwindling the second Bear and Snowbird ask Pa for a lick of the family lolly. Let’s turn on “Sister Wives” like the cultured adults we are. My husband and I tend to sit close to one another in the evening, but not during “Alaskan Bush People.” I’m seething. And equilibrium theory says that the level of intimacy I feel, will correlate to the level of distance I keep between him and I on that couch.

RELATED STORIES

‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ & the Absurdity of Love as Resistance

100 Proverbs That Teach Us How to Speak, Listen, and Respectfully Disagree

There are some days that we are literally ships in the night. I barely see him. In between running to and from work and errands today, I stopped by my house. My husband was standing in the driveway when I pulled in, and at the sight of me, he smiled. There was something really warm about the way his face lit up. After seven years of marriage and three kids, he still blushes when he sees me. It felt like high school and I was Kelly Kapowski. I had to teach a night class, so I didn’t stay long, but for the rest of the evening my mind wandered back to that effortless grin he gave me. I needed that moment with him in a day that would be largely marked by his absence.

Despite our terrible schedules this year, illness, and Alaskan Bush People, my husband and I made a choice a few years ago that I think keeps us intimately connected and I think you should try it. We stopped sleeping together.

At 5. a.m every morning we stop sleeping. We get up in the dark, fumble our way down the stairs, and we make coffee. Before we run off to our separate locations for the day and alternating commitments we have made, we have worship together. It’s our time to sit uninterrupted with no kids, no social media, and no television. It’s just the two of us, facing one another on the couch, bonding. I look forward to each morning like it’s a romantic date, only it’s our living room sofa, and my teeth aren’t brushed.

I can see how many couples suffer affairs. Life gets busy. We spend more time at work than we do at home, and equilibrium theory says that intimacy and distance vary together. At 5 a.m., before the sun is even up, my husband and I make sure to close the distance. We stop sleeping.

At first it was hard, but now it feels easy. I can’t imagine going to work without first having sat across from him. When I am on my death bed, one of the memories from my life that will sit like fog in my mind is watching my husband read his Bible in a giant plush robe on our couch. And I just want to throw this out there, there are few things in life more intimate, than kneeling beside someone in prayer. When I go to work after worship with him, his heart comes with me.

About three years ago I stopped sleeping with my husband, and getting up while the world was still dark and my kids were still quiet.

Life is busy. The day won’t just give you time for your relationship. You are going to have to make it.

Leave your vote

0 Points
Upvote Downvote

Browse and manage your votes from your Member Profile Page

What's Your Reaction?

  • AngryAngry
    0
    Angry
  • CuteCute
    0
    Cute
  • CryCry
    0
    Cry
  • LOLLOL
    0
    LOL
  • LoveLove
    0
    Love
  • OMGOMG
    0
    OMG

REPRINT REQUESTS | MEMBERSHIPS | GIVE



Share This Post

Share via

Share This Post

  • Digg
  • Tumblr
  • Flipboard
  • SMS
More
  • Report
42
SHARES
ShareTweetPin It

Related Posts

Everything Everywhere All At Once. (A24 Films)

‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ & the Absurdity of Love as Resistance

God Speaks Through Wombs: Poems on God's Unexpected Coming

The Gospels Give Birth to Poetry (‘God Speaks Through Wombs’ Excerpt)

Upcoming Live Events

There are no upcoming Events at this time.

Recently Published

  • Israeli Police Attack Christian Journalist’s Funeral Procession, Beat Mourners
  • Nigerian Student Beaten to Death, Set on Fire for Critical WhatsApp Post of Prophet Muhammad
  • Christians Likely Helped Run Half of U.S. Indian Boarding Schools
  • Liberty University Settles Suit With 12 Women Over Alleged Mishandled Assault Cases
  • Texas Court Must Reconsider Illegal Voting Conviction of Black Woman Sentenced to 5 Years
Mosaic Coffee
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact Us
  • Shop
  • Newsletter

© 2022 Faithfully Media LLC, owner and operator. All rights reserved. This site participates in the Amazon Associates program, and other affiliate programs, and may earn a commission from your purchases.

No Result
View All Result
  • News
  • Clippings
  • Features
  • Spotlight
  • Inspiration
  • Log In
    • Your Profile
Share via

Share This Post

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Reddit
  • Email
  • WhatsApp
  • Copy Link
  • Tumblr
  • Digg
  • Flipboard
  • SMS
close

Log In

Sign In

Login with Facebook
Login with Twitter
Forgot password?

Don't have an account? Register

Forgot password?

Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.

Back to Login

Your password reset link appears to be invalid or expired.

Log in

Privacy Policy

Accept

Add to Collection

  • Public collection title

  • Private collection title

No Collections

Here you'll find all collections you've created before.

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.
Send this to a friend